He Destroy Me, Mommy.

WELCOME TO MY LIFE

Hi mommy, may I cry in your hug?
mom, I'm feeling so....... bad, right now.
you know why? this is because a man, who was broke myself.
Last night, I asked him about "me and him" I asked him, has he love me from the first time we are in relationship? and he told me that he is never love me, that just about "appreciate" from beginning.
Mom, He broke me, this all things just because "appreciate" what should I do?
why the appreciate be like a Murder in a slowly way, instead.
I think this is impossible just because "appreciate" because he treats me like I'm the one who he loved, he treats me like I'm his soul mate, he treats me so special and now, that's only about "appreciate" and mom, he told me like that "word" not hurt.
Mom, he is really good at pretending not to care about me, he pretending like I'm Okay, I'm half died, does he know it?
I loose my life, I loose my soul, I loose the purpose of life, he broke my all life, he took my heart away and destroyed it, and then give it back in a state of shattered.
and he pretend not care?
Mom, everything going not normal, I'd like to go on the street but without a purpose.
He screw up my life, broke every believe about love, broke every pieces of all my faith about a kindness, you know somehow he show to me if be a good person is useless, better if be a bad person.
Mom, I need an empty space, there's I can yelled as loud as possible, I want throw away all this pain, all this burden.
so I can walk without any doubt, and without any burden of life. :)
x